Decje JA

Decje ja je zanimljiv deo nase licnosti. Sa jedne strane nesto zeli i nesto mu je potrebno, a sa druge strane jedan deo naseg unutrasnjeg deteta je vec unapred odlucio da li cemo te potrebe i zelje da ostvarimo ili necemo, odn. koje cemo da ostvarimo, a koje necemo. Tom delu naseg bica nije vazno da li ce da ih ostvari, nego mu je najvise stalo da nam privuce paznju. U kljucnim zivotnim trenucima upravo ce taj deo licnosti odluciti sta cemo da uradimo i sta ce se desiti. Zato je nasa “sudbina” upravo u rukama tog dela licnosti koji samo hoce nasu paznju. Stoga, sto mu vise paznje posvecujemo, to ce vise saradjivati sa nama i nas ce zivot biti kvalitetniji.

Kako da mu posvetimo paznju? Gestalt psihoterapija nudi mnogobrojne tehnike. Medjutim, uspesnost ovih tehnika zavisi od toga koliko su “obe strane” spremne da saradjuju. Spremnost naseg odraslog ja se zasniva upravo na shvatanju da kvalitet naseg zivota zavisi od naseg odnosa sa decjim ja. A od cega zavisi spremnost naseg decjeg ja? Vec sam napomenula da postoji vise delova naseg decjeg ja. Jedan od njih  hoce da zadovolji svoje zelje i potrebe, ili bar one koje su mu vaznije od drugih. Dijalog sa njim zasniva se na nasoj spremnosti da cujemo koje su to zelje i potrebe i da ih zadovoljimo ukoliko je to razumno. Drugi hoce samo da privuce nasu paznju. Uspesnost tog dijaloga zavisi od nase spremnosti da mu pruzimo bezuslovnu paznju. Sta je to bezuslovna paznja? To znaci da jednostavno udobno sednemo i posmatramo svoja osecanja. Ovo bi nam moglo biti tesko ako se identifikujemo sa svojim osecanjima. Ako ne razlikujemo sebe kao bica od svojih pojedinih osecanja. Gestalt psihoterapija nam nudi razlicite tehnike da napravimo ovu razliku (u svom radu ja savetujem klijentima da vizualizuju svoja osecanja, da im daju oblik, velicinu, boju, teksturu). Vazno je da znamo da smo mi nesto dublja i sira celina od svojih pojedinih osecanja, misli i fizickih dozivljaja.

Ovo je osnova gestalt psihoterapije: mi smo celina koja je vise od prostog zbira svojih pojedinih delova. Gestalt psihoterapija se zasniva, pre svega, na gestalt psihologiji koja se bavi ljudskom percepcijom. To je jedini nacin da nesto zaista znamo: da to i percipiramo. Da bismo zaista znali da smo celina, potrebno je da to i percipiramo. Nasa percepcija se sastoji od opazanja figure i pozadine (polja). Figura je pojedini fizicki, mentalni ili emocionalni stimulus (culni dozivljaj, misao ii osecanje). Figure se menjaju, ali je nesto uvek figura. Uvek percipiramo neki deo. Medjutim, uvek je tu i pozadina (polje, celina) koju takodje mozemo da naucimo da opazamo. Sto je vise opazamo, to cemo vise znati da smo celina. Jer jedino ono sto opazamo zaista znamo. To je ono sto zanima nase decje ja, onaj njegov deo koji samo zeli nasu paznju. Njega ne zanimaju nikakve figure, vec samo polje. Zato je ovo vazno – da naucimo da budemo svesni polja. To je decji svet.

Inace, figura nisu trajne. Ono sto je sada figura, posle nekog vremena postaje pozadina, a iz pozadine dolaze nove figure. Ovo je sve promenljivo i u gestaltu mozemo da radimo sa time kako bismo zadovoljili svoje potrebe i zelje. Medjutim, postoji jedan deo pozadine koji nikada ne moze postati figura. To je tzv. emocionalni oziljak. To je jedini element pozadine (decjeg sveta) koji ne mozemo da organizujemo kao figuru ( ne mozemo da ga dovedemo u svet odraslih) kako bismo radili sa njime i resili ga na odrastao nacin. Jedino sto nam preostaje je da svoju paznju usmerimo na pozadinu.

Kako usmeravamo svoju paznju na pozadinu? Kada dozvolimo razlicitim fizickim, mentalnim i emocionalnim figurama da nam dodju i prodju kroz svest, ostaje jedna opsta nelagoda koja ne moze da prodje kao pojedinacne emocije. Jednostavno mozemo da posmatramo kao jedan proces koji se krece po nasem telu fizicki, mentalno i emocionalno. Posmatranje tog procesa sa namerom da osetimo emocionalni oziljak i budemo sa svojim decjim ja dok mu je tesko, dovodi do naseg priblizavanja decjem ja. Ovo nece voditi ka zadovoljenju potreba i zelja, ali ce voditi ka trajnom ublazavanju nase patnje.

Decjem ja je urodjena spontana kreativnost, radost i stvaralastvo. Povezivanjem sa ovim delom nase licnosti vodi ka tome da postajemo izvorniji, autenticniji, spontano zaigrani sa drugim ljudima, kao i da sve vise opazamo koliko smo svi mi povezani u polju. Dobrobit je jedan pozadinski osecaj mira, nevinosti i povezanosti sa sveukupnim zivotom.

Danijela Stojanovic, klinicki psiholog i psihoterapeut





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